Let me begin by asking you this simple question to ponder as you read: How would you define your self-worth in this season?
In high school, I struggled a lot with my self esteem and self worth. I was brought up believing that “God made [me] special, just the way [I am]”. I believed that, or at least I thought I did. At that point in my life (my teenage/high school years), I began to doubt everything I ever knew and believed. I found myself believing that I was worthless and I defined myself by the words of others. I allowed depression and negative thinking to overtake my soul like an incurable decease. I craved the affection of this world, rather than the affection of the one who created me. It devoured me. I was trapped in a dark hole of lies. Honestly, I hated myself for feeling so lost, but that was my first mistake. Because I hated myself, I took every feeling and emotion out on myself by hurting my physical body and beating up my spirit.
Can I tell you a secret?
Redefining your self-worth has to start with you showing yourself grace and love. What does that mean? It means forgiving yourself and accepting that you are human and will make mistakes. It means loving yourself, not out of selfishness, but out of respect for Gods handiwork and holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” Once you have shown yourself grace and love, then you can accept the grace and love that God freely gives.
Our minds can so easily distract us from our worth and purpose. Distraction from truth is the devil’s most valuable weapon. If satan is able to break into our mind, he can then easily destroy us from the inside out.
It took time (years in fact) and healing for me to redefine my worth. I finally realized that I wasn’t going to find it in human standards, but in God alone. Don’t let me fool you; I still struggle. It is a daily commitment. I have to constantly keep myself in check by accepting the reminder I am a daughter of the King and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
God knew you and He knew me before we were even conceived! He had a plan for us before we were even formed in our mothers’ womb! He formed you and created you with His very hands; in His own image. It is literally His breath in our lungs. He created your life with a purpose and a plan in mind, just as Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plan I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
The way you were brought into this world does not define you.
The amount of “likes” or followers you get on social media does not define you.
The number of “friends” you have does not define you.
The clothes you wear or makeup you apply does not define you.
The number on the scale does not define.
Your past mistakes do not define you.
Your failures do not define you.
Your achievements do not define you.
The words of others do not define you.
You may be reading this and believe that you have no worth. Maybe you feel alone, lost, and unloved. Please don’t believe the lies your mind is feeding you. God sees you. He knows your heart. He loves you. In fact, Jeremiah 31:3 says that He loves you “with an everlasting love”. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes will not perish but have eternal life.” (NIV, John 3:16). Did you know if you were the only person on earth, He still would have died for you? He loves you that much.
Please know that you are NOT alone. You read part of my story, and you know that I have been in that dark place. I have felt my worth shatter and I have grieved the loss of myself. But 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that if we turn to Christ, we are a new creation. He forgets our wrong-doings, purifies our hearts, and creates beauty from ashes.
So how do you redefine your self-worth? I briefly discussed it in the above text, but here is a three step guide for you to remember:
REDEFINING YOUR SELF-WORTH:
- Give yourself grace. I am constantly reminding myself of this. It may sound odd, but giving yourself grace is the first step in redefining your worth. If you’re constantly beating yourself up and tearing yourself down than you cannot live a full life.
- Repentance. The only way we can receive salvation and true self-worth is through repentance. Once you have chosen to give yourself grace, the next step is asking for grace from God. We must recognize our sin and choose to walk a different path according to God’s will for us.
- Proclaim the Word of God over your life. Memorize scripture – repeat and declare His promises. Remind yourself that you are a child of God. If God is for you, who can be against? The enemy will continue to mess with you and attack you; that’s why you need His Word. When the enemy tries to deprive you, you have the most powerful weapon ready to go! “For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12).
Write down these verses. Meditate on them. Memorize them. Post them on your wall, on your desk, on your mirror, in your car, etc. Remind yourself that you are valuable. You are precious and a child of the King. Hide these words in your heart so that you might be able to speak boldly and declare victory over the enemy.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7 ESV)
“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2 CSB)
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:13-14 ESV)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
If you would like to dive deeper into redefining your worth, or if you would like prayer or guidance in this area, please reach out to us at Radiantly Brave. We would love to walk alongside you on your journey with Christ. As women and sisters in Christ, we are called to build one another up in love and prayer. We’re here for you.
Kaitlyn is 23, a wife, a chinchilla mom, and she currently works full-time as a retail department manager. She dabbles a little in portrait and nature photography, as she enjoy capturing memories and natural beauty. Kaitlyn loves to write, spend time with her hubby, and explore God’s marvelous creation. She enjoys playing the piano, even though she’s still a beginner. Random fact: She would probably cry if she was ever given the honor of holding a sloth. Most importantly, Kaitlyn loves Jesus and is so grateful for His unconditional love and grace. She learns more about Him everyday, and desires to journey with other women, as we learn to walk in bravery, and shine His light through our lives.